In terms of establishing the location better at the start, I think the camera should move across the workshop bench, showing tools and cogs and hinges etc... and then arrive at Ivan - so the audience understands he is not a real bird - but a bird who dream of being real. You know, you're essentially telling Pinoccohio's story here; a bird that dream of becoming real and experiencing flight - it's a universal fantasy after all!About this ending - it's just.... a bit disappointing - all that build-up, all that anticipation and then - Ivan just lands... The End. Maybe I'm not seeing what you're seeing, but I'd suggest your Act 3 needs reconsidering more constitutionally. I love the moment when Ivan discovers his light source (his potential?) and takes flight - but I always thought that, at the end of your film, Ivan would become even more transformed - like a wish lantern or shooting star? If you had light sources drifting up from the magic city - which is what Ivan is looking at when he's on the beach - it would make more sense that Ivan 'joins' them at the end of the film - so, instead of 'landing' (boring), he soars up and up and joins the others in their journey...
On one hand I agree, and the rethink of the ending could be the answer and my next steps. though initially the main atraction for him is not to fly ( though still enoyable as well as it is a supplement) but in fact - reaching his true goal - home -there is a "nest" on the treeAnd all the other elements ( lanterns etc.) in the island suggest a welcomming environmwent which in terms of design and construction is actually much like the bird itslef. So Ivan wanted to stay and live there. so I see his biggest dream is not to just fly and be a true bird, but reach and find his true place..it could be that I didn't use film language adequately to make this clear to the audience ...
hi Jolanta, The act 3 Phil is suggesting I remember on the new Disney Film Tangled, an amazing scene with sky lanterns, maybe you should check it... it is really wonderful, and I think it is what the animation is maybe lacking in the end.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5iFxpkz40o&feature=related it is a few shots in this video. !
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_UH6v8ec1Y&feature=relatedSry for the spam, but in this one it looks better!
Thanks a lot! I wasn't aware of those ((:D
or what if .. Ivan stays .. maybe going towards the treehouse, but all the other lanterns around fly up to the air ...? adding the visual interest
it's a metaphor issue - what is Ivan's goal (and how does it speak of universal urges for freedom/transendence?) If it's about finding a home (belonging) i.e. completeness. If this is your story, then you need to show your audience the nest (the goal) - it really isn't clear yet - you need to 'teach' the audience how to read Ivan's wish to be .... completed.
There's a theory in cinema known as the 'Transcendental style', which emcompasses the films of Yasujiro Ozu, Robert Bresson and Carl Theodor Dreyer. Maybe not entirely relevant as the style is rooted very much in 'realism' but in terms of structure, particuarly 'the moment' of transcendance it could be worth looking at these filmmakers and the theory associated with them, to see how they do it.
goal: reach for something greater ( 1st environment is ok, the outter world is even more interesting, the island takes him over completely and I chose to suggest not only because it has fancy lights etc. but that it could be also m,ore then a house but home for the bird) and reach for something greater inevitably and at the same time means becoming something greater (he transforms). The island is a symbol of seemingly unachievable (at first attempt he fails to reach the island)but with enough dedication and trying all problems solve and revards (discvovery of greatness in him, Island as perfect place, true home) is his.So I think to go back and rethink how to suggest all this ( suggest the nest in island as his home) in animation now.Thanks Tom for the info, I think I might even use this for my framing practice ((:]